The Real Me

The Real Me

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Oh Wow.

Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.

Those are the words rumored to be the last of Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, when he died in October, 2011.

They are the same words I used to begin my mother's eulogy, after she died one year later in October, 2012.

And they are the words rolling around in my head this evening, as I attempt sleep, but am awakened by the realization that some hugely significant goals are beginning to come to fruition. Oh wow.

It's not like they're just falling into my lap.  I've been working on them, one of them in particular, for two years now.  Yes, I'm talking about the book thing.  The novel.  LYING OUT LOUD (the working title).  Agents are being queried.  There's a Facebook buzz beginning. And tonight, a random conversation turned into someone I know telling me they know an agent, and, well, so it goes.

"Are we there yet?" comes the cry from the backseat.  No, not quite yet.  But getting ever so closer. Be patient, my love. Just a little longer.

I can feel it.  Can't put my finger on it, but something is different this time.

It was two years ago, after my mother died, and my other mother died (Jeanie Moyer - the one who was my art instructor from the age of 12 and one of the most significant influences on my entire life), and THEN, on February 25, 2013, I learned that my dear friend Evana died.  One, two, three... that was when I decided I HAD to quit my day job at the time and devote myself to writing the novel.  And of course I ended up taking another day job,  for a while, but all the while, I continued to write.

Two hours every morning, parked in my car at the beach, I wrote the first draft, longhand, in about four months. I had no idea how long it would take to revise, and query for an agent, and get rejected, and revise some more, and query again, and get rejected again, and revise, revise, revise some more.
My "revisions" office!
Until here I am again, sending out query letters, with fingers and toes crossed hoping that this time there will be an agent who will love this book as much as I do and who will find a publisher for me who loves it as much as I do who will bring it to life so that readers everywhere can fall in love with it as much as I have. And I will admit, yes, I have.  Fallen in love with it.  It's been like that Bill Murray movie, Groundhog's Day.  I've been reading the same novel over and over and over again for the past two years, and every time I do, even though I'm the one who wrote the words, there are times I laugh out loud, and times I cry, and times I think "oh wow" this is really, really cool. I LOVE this book.

Why did I do it?

Because life is short.  And we never know when.  And we're told to not die with our music still in us.

And because I think it is an important story to be told.  The characters came to life, as I was advised they might.  They surprised me with where they went, and what they said, and what they did, and one time, the phone rang, and I thought I knew who would pick it up and it was an entirely new character who I didn't even know existed, but he showed up and said hello.

So there, I've said it.  I've written a novel.  I'm learning to say it out loud.  And every time I do, there's a little voice in my head (I think she's about 13 years old, the one who says it) - she says "oh wow."

Stay tuned... the best is yet to come. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.